Growing Up

Foster care has been apart of my life since I was a young kid. My mom would tell us stories about how her mom and dad would take in children who were in need of a home. The children would stay with them for a few months while their parents worked on getting healthy. When it was safe, they would return to their families.

When I was in high school my parents told us that they felt called to become licensed foster parents. They, just like my grandparents, felt that they could serve families by providing a home for children until it was safe for them to return. 

In the years that followed my parents came alongside multiple families. We had a handful of children stay in our home. Some stayed for a few days and others stayed for a few months. When I was in college my (now) brother Carson was placed with us as an 18 month old baby. My brother has Down Syndrome and the agency needed someone to care for him until they could find a more permanent placement. Finding parents to take in a child with special needs is more difficult to find in the foster care system. We fell in love with him and what was supposed to be for only a short time turned into forever. 

Opening Our Home

I knew that I too wanted to continue the family legacy of opening my home to children in need. Matt, knowing that desire, encouraged me to reach out to our local agency to learn about the process of getting certified. Matt and I knew from the beginning that we would only take in teenagers. We had so many little ones running around the house that we thought we would mix it up a bit!  

As we were becoming certified I found out I was pregnant with Ollie. This was one of the busiest seasons of our lives. I was sick and exhausted with two young kids running around the house. On paper it didn’t sound like the best time to introduce another kid into our family, but we knew that god had better plans.

The Girls Who Joined Our Family

About 3 weeks after we were fully certified we had our first girl K come and stay with us. K was about 4 months away from turning 18. She needed a safe place to stay until she could be on her own. K stayed with us during the pandemic and I gave birth to Ollie a few days before she turned 18. She was fiercely independent and determined to live by herself. Knowing this, we made sure we had everything set for her to move into her own apartment on her birthday. I am so thankful that we still have contact with her today. We get to see her every time we visit California and she we text every once in awhile. She also has a great relationship with my parents and she sees them regularly. 

When Ollie was 4 months old we got a call for our next girl G. She was also 17 and needed a safe home to stay at until she graduated. After her graduation she continued to stay with us and she even chose to move to Oklahoma with us. She is now out on her own but living close to us. We are thankful for a continued relationship with her as well.

Where We Are At Now in Our Foster Care Journey

At this time our family has stepped back from foster care since we are not licensed in Oklahoma. Maybe in the future we will become certified again, but for now we are adjusting to life in a new state. 

My children have benefited greatly from our experience with foster care. Emma was the first one to greet the girls at the door and she still calls them her sister. I pray that they all grow up looking for ways to help those around them. I want their hearts and their homes to be open to those in need.

K and G are now settling in adulthood but they will always be apart of our family. No matter where they are living they will always have a place to call home with us.

Everyone Can Help Children in Foster Care

God has grown me and stretched me and challenged me with this mission field of foster care. It was hard and painful at times but there were also beautiful moments of break through and love mixed in. My heart has been hurt and broken by the things the girls have endured but seeing God’s provision in their stories is remarkable. We failed in so many ways, as all parents feel they do, but saying yes was the best decision we ever made. I would endure the pain and frustration all over again because it gave our girls a safe place to live and a place to call home. I would do it all again simply to show them they are loved and they are worthy of that love. 

There is so much more I could say on this topic but I will end with this. You may not have the ability to open your home to another child, but there are so many other ways that you can help children in foster care if that is something that has been on your heart. Become a CASA worker, bring a meal or offer to babysit for a foster family. If they have littles ones, bring them diapers or toys. Ones of the biggest forms of support we got was when friends would check in on us and let us talk about the hard stuff. Supporting the foster parents means that they have the capacity to help the children. Even the smallest gestures can make the biggest difference. Do for one what you wish you could do for them all.